Isabel's story

Remember Bongiwe, the girl that slept on me the first full night we were in Nsoko? Here's a different person's perspective on it. Isabel was Gift's assistant. She works with AIM and had been in Nsoko months before we got there. Here's her story...

Last night there was a knock on the door from the Real Life leader here. He said, "there are kids that haven't gone home and now they are sleeping...what should I do?" So he took them home. Then this morning they were already back so early. When asked about their mother, "She never came home last night. She was out drinking all night," and the father recently died from AIDS. These girls are so young. One is only 9 and she is taking care of her 2-year-old sister. They hadn't eaten since lunch provided from the carepoint yesterday at 1. It was now Sunday at 10 am. Pastor Gift's wife, Philile, made a big bowl of porridge for them to eat. I sat and made sure the baby got to eat and that the dog didn't take her food away. The other children that were around finished eating and went off to play at the other end of the property, leaving this two-year-old to finish eating all alone. I sat with her as she slowly brought the oversized spoon to her little mouth and licked off all of the porridge from it. After she had eaten all her stomach could take, she sat playing with a little twig from the ground. She was leaning on my leg and was looking so tired. I spoke to her in what little Siswati I know, but still nothing was said from her. Eventually she was in my lap, laying there as this tiny person that deserves so much more than she is receiving at "home". She fell asleep in my arms. This tiny little girl. As I was holding her my heart broke. The tears wouldn't stop coming. My already stuffed up nose was gathering more snot, but I just didn't care. What if this was my daughter, my sister, my niece? There are so many thoughts that run through my head. I want to fix this situation but what would that look like? What do you do? What can I do? And I still have no answer. The only thing I know to do is to love this tiny person that God has created. To be Jesus with skin on.

It was so weird seeing this blog tonight, and being able to read about Bongiwe's homelife. Her mother's wasting money on alcohol, father's dead, and she's left taking care of her siblings. I remember someone getting upset with all the injustice that we were seeing and one of the leaders said, "It's just the situation they're in." She said it like it wasn't a big deal. Well, yes, it is the situation they're in but it's not fair when we have so much and they have so little. It's not Bongiwe's fault that her mother does drugs and that she's not able to eat days at a time. I wish I could make a difference in her life. I want to go back so bad to make a difference. To show her more of God's love, more of the unconditional love that she doesn't find at home. My heart is completely broken for her. I feel helpless here. I wish I could do more.