Being a creeper has its perks :)

I'm a creeper. It's a fact. But it comes in handy sometimes. I've been able to see what's going on in Nsoko and what awesome things Pastor Gift is doing there.

First, let's talk about Zodwa. She's around 18 and works in Pastor Gift's house. That's really about all I knew about her. She was quiet, plus she didn't know much English. Little did I know, she had an incredible story. Me being a creeper, I found a blog about her. It was written in April of 2009, so it was a few months before we got to Nsoko. At the age of ten, her mother died. Her siblings had all left, whether they lived somewhere else or were just gone. She was all alone. She cleaned houses to survive, and that sustained her needs for about 4 years. Then she had to resort to the inevitable. She had to begin selling her body. She was 14 years old, y'all. And that's the fate for SO many of these young girls. It's either that or death. So, she decided to fight for her life and stay alive. This blog was written less than a year ago, 2 months before we arrived, and Zodwa was still selling her body to survive. I would have never known. We knew her as Pastor Gift's helper. A nanny. A housekeeper. By employing Zodwa and letting her live with them, Pastor Gift literally saved her life. Even with the economy now, we don't realize the extent of what not having a "job" can do. They have to use the only means they have to survive, and for the women/girls, that is their bodies.

Next, we'll talk about the translators... Nelly, Thandie, Innocent, Majabane, and Mxolisi (there's a click in there, therefore I can't say it... most of us called him Nisi.) Thandie's been working for Gift for a while now as well as Mxolisi. Thandie's one of the most beautiful women of God I've ever met. She gets it. She has a son and she's able to provide a decent life for him because of her employment by Pastor Gift. Her sister, Nelly, began translating for us about half way through the trip. We already loved her and had built relationships with her, she just wasn't our translator until later. She's still employed by Pastor Gift and able to provide for her precious son, Phiwa. And our team raised enough money for her to go to school to be a secretary :) The cool thing about Pastor Gift and his ministry to his own team is that he usually picks people that don't really "get it." Majabane, for instance. I don't think he had a real relationship with God until he worked for Gift about halfway through our trip. He saw the guys on our team and really saw what it meant to be a man of God. He gets it now. He understands what it means to be in love with the Lord. It's so awesome. And as for Innocent, he's just awesome. He's got a smile that just lights up the room.

Being the creeper that I am, I found some recent Swazi pictures and ran across one of a girl around 16 that we ministered to. Her name is Nombali. And... she now works for Pastor Gift as a translator. I love seeing how God is working and changing the lives of these young women. Not only does this prevent her having the same fate as Zodwa, but she's going to be face to face with scripture everyday while she translates. She's going to grow just like Majabane did. I'm so excited for the opportunities she's going to have as she works for Pastor Gift.

A Burning Passion

I’ve been confused for a while now what I want to do with my life. Africa kinda turned my world upside down. While I was there, and while being back, God put a fire in my heart for missions. I would absolutely love to make a “career” out of it. But it has its downfalls. First... my family. Not only would it be hard for them for me to be overseas, but it would be hard for me as well. Same goes for friends. Second, I don’t want to raise a family overseas. I went to a debriefing program about a month ago and saw a few families that raised children overseas. I realized in that week of seeing what sacrifices their kids have had to make that I don’t want that for my kids. Those are really the biggest two things that are holding me back.

I think I had come to terms to staying here and living out my life in the states. But since that realization, God’s been throwing me for loops and tugging on my heart ever since. The family thing… it really doesn’t get easier. I don’t want to put an ache in my family’s hearts. At all. But there are sacrifices that you make when you submit your life to the Lord. Maybe this has to be one of those sacrifices. I don’t know. I haven’t really worked that one out yet. The thing about raising my own family overseas and having MKs…. I still don’t want that. But God’s given me this strange peace about the possibility of not having my own family. Which is big. That’s the one thing that I’ve always wanted. My own kids. Now it’s like I’ve had this weird peace about it. I’ve realized that I’d be ministering to children if I went overseas. Those kids would be my kids.

Tonight at chapter, two great things happened. First, my sweet sister, Caitlin, shared something that’s been on her heart. At Sunday school this past weekend, someone read a book, and one sentence really stuck out to Caitlin.

“Go live your heart today.”

She said that God puts desires in your heart for a reason, and sometimes you just gotta let go of what your head is telling you and follow your heart. I love that. God put these desires in my heart for a reason. That doesn’t mean I’m going to jump the gun and move to Africa next week. But it does remind me of this truth, and opens my heart to the possibility of a missionary life. Second, my other sweet sister, Kerry, shared about her mission trip to Haiti. I was able to relate with everything she said. I cried a bit, (which we all know isn’t a surprise) not only because of what she said was incredibly touching, but it reminded me of Nsoko and the piece of my heart that I left there. It reminded me of the passion in my heart for missions and for the unreached, and it made that passion burn that much more. There’s been a battle in my mind and heart about what’s going to happen and what my future’s going to look like. At times I’m okay with not knowing. Others, it’s kind of frustrating, and I just want to know. But I’m trying to let that go. I’m trying to let go, and let God.